"Bart the Murderer"
- Bart: Uh, say, are you guys crooks?
- Tony: Bart, um, is it wrong to steal a loaf of bread to feed your starving family?
- Bart: No.
- Tony: Well, suppose you got a large starving family. Is it wrong to steal a truckload of bread to feed them?
- Bart: Uh uh.
- Tony: And, what if your family don't like bread? They like... cigarettes?
- Bart: I guess that's okay.
- Tony: Now, what if instead of giving them away, you sold them at a price that was practically giving them away. Would that be a crime, Bart?
- Bart: Hell, no!
- Tony: Enjoy your gift.
If you had to pick one, who’d you pick?
I’ve always admired Otto and his frilly socks.
Professor Frink! Because I am a nice lady.
Colorful shorts on Flickr.
McAllister: Arr, matey. Nary a warning light to be seen. ‘Tis clear sailing ahead for our precious cargo.
Sailor: Uh, would that be the hot pants, sir?
McAllister: Aye, the hot pants.
OH MY GOD!
Two of my coworkers are talking about Sweatin’ to the Oldies, and one of them said that she really liked the first two and the fourth one, but the third one wasn’t so great. Who care, you say?
Because this:
Dear God, thank you for Ziggy comics, little baby ducks, and ‘Sweatin’ To the Oldies’ volumes 1, 2 and 4. - Ned Flanders
The Simpsons is real life, you guys!
if they go for unflavored non-fat ice milk in the cafeteria, RUN.
Quiet, I can’t hear the eggs!
If we can keep these down, we’ll be sittin’ pretty.
What’s that? You want me to drink you? But I’m in the middle of a trial!
Brownest of the brown liquors
This is someone dying while having an MRI scan. Before you die, your brain releases tons and tons of endorphins that make you feel a range of emotions. Tragically beautiful.
Max Power! He’s the man whose name you’d love to touuch
But you musn’t touuuuuuch!
His name sounds good in your ear
But when you hear it, you musn’t fearBecause his naaame can be said
by anyone!
